Artist Excuses & Dedication: Part 2 (with my responses to them)
Female & Male:
1. Excuse: "Sir, trust me, I’ve had a fever for a week."
Reality: Her Facebook status: "Enjoyed a lot with friends today...!!!" (5 hours ago)
2. Excuse: "Sir, I'm too messed up with some family problems that I can't share with you."
3. Excuse: "Sir, I'm currently out of town. I’ll definitely contact you as soon as I reach Mumbai."
4. Excuse: "See Jatin, if you’re indeed into casting, introduce me to a director. I was finalized for a horror movie today."
Reality: Her WhatsApp status: "My dream is shattered. :-("
5. Excuse: "Oh Jatin, I'm really sorry. I was occupied with work and saw your message just now (2 AM)."
Reality: Message was sent at 4 PM.
6. Excuse: "Look, I work in an office, so I don’t have time for anything else."
7. Excuse: "The thing is, I have my folio shoot next week, and the photographer has guaranteed me work in a show."
8. Male Artist: "Bro, you gave me the links for the audition tape, but I can do better."
Reality: After 2 hours: "Bro, I don’t understand how to make the tape, where to record it."
9. Male: "My mistake is being born in a middle-class family. I don’t have a job, support from home, or any connections in Mumbai."
10. Male: "See dude, my uncle/cousin/etc. have their own production house in Mumbai, but I want to make it on my own. The lead actor in that show is related to me. I could easily get a show if I wanted."
There are a hundred more excuses from these unprofessional artists, but let’s move on to my responses:
My Replies to Them:
1. "Beep beep beep, tell me, when don’t you have a fever? Sometimes your phone is broken, sometimes your internet pack is finished, or guests are at your house. Why did you come to Mumbai?"
2. "Beep beep beep... the person you’re chatting with online day and night is your problem, not your family. Either choose your career or the nonsense you’re doing right now. Did you come here to work or to whine?"
3. "You were in Mumbai this morning, and by evening you’re in Indore? Beep beep beep. Is the production house your father's to conduct auditions for you daily? At least have the courtesy to inform us."
4. "After seeing her WhatsApp status: What happened, dear? Which dream shattered?"
Her Reply: "The movie was genuine, but the producer asked me to compromise."
My Revert: "Beep beep beep... you still think the movie was genuine? You deserve what you got because some people need to learn the hard way. You prefer shortcuts over the right path. Now go meet your Mr. XYZ."
5. "Beep beep beep. This isn’t a call center night shift. Production houses don’t work according to your time. And yeah, guys, please message/call me between 11 AM to 10 PM only. After that, don’t bother me because I’m not your servant."
6. "Beep beep beep. If you wanted a 9-5 office job, why did you bother me for 2 months? Unprofessional people like you aren’t useful because you lack seriousness and dedication."
7. "Oh really? That photographer, who lives in the ghetto and runs his house on the money he gets from your shoot, is going to cast you? Beep beep beep... His job is to do photo shoots, and that’s what he’s charging for. Even renowned institutes don’t guarantee work. Introduce me to him too."
8. "Bro, just come over. My bathroom is empty; you can use it to record your audition tape."
9. "Sorry guys, no beep beep for this statement. Listen, nobody here is a millionaire, nor does anyone have connections. You have to get work yourself. Stop complaining about being middle class. Check the history of any actor; they didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. For example, Gurmeet Choudhary struggled a lot before achieving success. If you’re born poor, it’s not your fault, but if you die poor, it’s your fault. Don’t cry to me about being poor. I indeed hate this."
10. "Bro, you’re the biggest fool ever born. If you have contacts, use them. Why are you bothering me? And yeah, it’s good that you want to be independent, but don’t narrate your life story to me. Give your audition and leave."
Finally, to all the struggling artists:
I won’t forgive those who don’t reply to messages on WhatsApp or Facebook.
And male artists, stop sending your profiles to female email IDs, or I’ll post your photos on Facebook, introducing you as shemales. Enough is enough.
And for those without a financer, stop dreaming about making a movie. Don’t bother everyone with your B-grade thinking and C-grade script.
Regards,
#FRUSTRATED #ANNOYED - Jatin Bhatta
